Bardstown Collection Heaven Hill 9 Year is a Colossal Waste of Money

Here we go again

It’s tough for me to articulate how shitty this bottle is and what a colossal waste of money it was. I don’t mean that “relative to $200, distillery only, 2 barrel blends” I mean like relative to something you can get at Hyvee for $38.

It makes it even worse when you see this bottle flipping for $400 on secondary. The contents not only don’t justify it, but it puts you in an existential crisis.

Heaven Hill has the capacity to make some of the best bourbon on the planet. The PHC bottles when they hit, absolutely crush. Even their regular old Elijah Craig barrel proof absolutely destroys this 9 year 120 proof corn charlatan.

So how did this happen? Each of the five distilleries in Bardstown held a release to celebrate the “Bourbon Capital of the World.” In reviews I saw, the Heaven Hill was in second place out of the five bottles so I can only imagine how nightmarish that Log Still bottle is.

The box and tiny “premium booklet” is probably the best part of this release. I’m not saying master distiller Conor O’Driscoll was actively like “take those barrels of regular old HH 7 year that we left lying around but make sure they are worse” but this bottle is rough.

All proceeds were donated back to the Bardtown community so I mean, I guess drinking ammonia and Advil coating is worth it.

It’s amazing how dry and thin this is. The solvent peanut skins mix with high gloss enamel, you get caramel popcorn and turpentine. You both reel from the sun tea acrid notes but then it just keeps going endlessly like some Phish concert you only attended as a favor.

The closer brings aniline leather, lemon pledge, and the experience of eating bread pudding next to an idling diesel engine.

I guess the fact that this was extremely limited is a blessing in disguise. It’s tough to dunk on charity bottles but only fitting that resellers flipped them for a profit and likely never even tried them. It’s the financial equivalent of catching a hot dose.

The hype soaked staves of the bourbon world are in shambles and nothing demonstrates this disparity between price and quality more than this bottle.

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