After two nightmarish years, it is little surprise that 2022 is shaping up to be the year of Czech dark lagers. People crave robust, dark succor, and with rising temps the clean lager salvation strains extend a hand like a sporty porter. A Sp-orter.

Faisan, a new upstart from Detroit, is providing this malty toasted goodness. If Death and Taxes is the standard by which all of these are inevitably judged, this makes a strong gambit.

The squaw bread and pumpernickel is present and there’s a clean simplicity like how watching a hibachi chef make an onion volcano never stops being entertaining. It just works. The same people gearing up for sun dress smashing season are also amenable to these lean lagers with waves of gardettos rye chips and diner wheat toast.

The carb has fantastic sustain and the can looks like some Coheed and Cambria fan art. It has a universal appeal to both dudes who idolize Elon Musk and for people who watch Below Deck on Bravo. These dark lagers can cover that much ground because they both present with a subtle aw shucks simplicity, but deliver depth with the dark chocolate goodness.

Another benefit: for some reason breweries never charge that much for these despite being a total pain in the ass to make. If you walk into a tasting room and hear Father John Misty, you’re about to pay $9 for a pint of helles. But I think this four pack is like $14. It’s jarring and refreshing like when a car with low bolstering throws you around. It’s so much return on a bottom fermented investment.

Oddly though, no one orders these on draft, so breweries often don’t make them. A grocery store tier consumer sees a 5% lager but OH WAIT IT IS DARK HANG ON TOO STRONG I GOTTA DRIVE HOME. But like people who wear Stone Island, someone is buying these, I just never have never seem them.

This beer is extremely drinkable and provides enduring lasting depth. Like how has Hayley Williams been 18 for two decades? We may never know. While this falls short of the god tier Cohesion/Moonlight/Suarez syndicate of DCL’s but I am stoked to see what these plucky newcomers have up their Mittens.