After much reflection on my contributions to the beer world over the past 12 years, I have decided that from this point onward, Don’t Drink Beer will now be a Non-Alcoholic Beer Blog. DDB has done nothing but harm people and encourage excess. In glorifying and damning the best and worst beers ever made, people have been enabled to become their worst selves.

On the surface it seems like pithy jokes about late night raviolis and unsolicited cyber sex, but who is laughing when 14 maladjusted people get together in a backyard and drink thimbleful pours of coconut caro syrup? Who laughs then? Uncle Ben once said, ”With great power comes a trade for Great Responsibility b2, but they need to add.” DDB needs to add some ethics to this entire endeavor.

In addition to NA beers, I will be providing episode recaps for The Black List, decoupage tips, golf swing assistance, and methods to ensure your souffles don’t collapse. Everyone will be better off.

Untitled Art is a project owned by Octopi Brewing who has thankfully disassembled the beer world with seltzers and now are finishing the job with NA beers. Levi Funk is overseeing the Latter Day Saintification of the fermented world and I place the utmost trust in the man who revolutionized American Lambic to now ensure our sobriety at family functions.

The issue I usually ran into with hazy IPAs was, wow this is great I sure would love to have five of these, but then who is gonna do all this precise data entry? Is anyone else in the household even forklift certified? Problem solved, now intoxication is a thing of the past. Even children can line up in Torrance and breath in refinery fumes wearing baby Bapes, toddler Etnies, with little infant Yeti coolers.

The beer has a watery body but a nice sustain on the swallow that prevents it from feeling like seltzer, there’s a fantastic replication of the hop profile like Stetson cologne, tangelo and satsuma, with a noticeably Dasani drag that doesn’t sustain the hop oils like real beer. This is as good as NA can get. Jokes aside, it is honestly extremely well done and Levi Funk will usher my blog into a bold new era of consciousness.