With the ice melting on soil and hazy palates, Helles season is upon us. Just tell someone this Double Decocted Helles is DDH and they will immediately start guessing RIWAKA and single digit IBUs. The recent surge of pilsner popularity has seen a rise in crispy-adjacents like Helles and Kolsch. What a time for Bavarian hypebeasts.

The surefire way mediocre breweries ruin all their lagers these days is by “italianizing” the hell out of them with resinous dry hops. That awe shucks rolling the toe in the sand, unconfident in that naked malty approach, we see breweries consistently turn things into IPLs out of insecurity. It is the palate equivalent of all these companies turning to simplified logos. People want the complexity of a biscuity bright helles.

This beer has as the soft nuance and subtle range. The challah bread and clean water cracker is front and center with a touch of Ritz on the swallow complimenting the whisper of itchy fescue in your pastoriAnus. It is focused, direct, and less distracting than people who just took a Myers-Briggs personality test. You just enjoy lagers, you aren’t an empath.

The carbonation is good but could use some residual body to the mouthfeel. It provides increased crushability but loses complexity in the swallow. The result is this watery sort of nothingness that you forget until you chain your next sip. It’s very enjoyable and the sheer volume that you can put away speaks volumes.

If you’re a dude who predicates his self esteem on his Spotify Wrapped, then this simple joy isn’t for you. Oh wow Da Baby and IDLES, a true renaissance man. Those people are too performative, seek validation from external sources. The simple helles is clean and drillable. It presents the actual stylistic reduction that people who wear Aime Leon Dore claim they want, but without the logos. It is post-minimalism in a glass.

If you have ever gone to a Hinge date’s apartment and seen the same Scandinavian wood and lack of possessions, that’s this helles. It is always uniquely the same. Oh look one small fern for a splash of color. A jar with sticks in it. Interior design is my passion. In reducing the clutter, the clean soft bucolic tones are emphasized. This lager doesn’t have a tapestry over its bed though because that would be corny