The quest to answer “What Happened to Double Digit Age Statements?” trudges on with a new offering from Wild Turkey: Russell’s Reserve 13 Year. This might as well have not even actually been released considering that almost none of these bottles even hit the shelf.

Double digit age statements aren’t extinct, they’re being conscripted. Wild Turkey could have taken a NCF cask strength bottle with 13 years and made it a special release. Instead they priced it at $70, barely higher than the much worse, RR10. The result is predictable, adults who still shop at Tilly’s flip them for $400. These are the same dudes who are like “Vegas aint ready for us” like Vegas hasn’t seen 5 dumpy guys sharing queen beds wearing camp collar shirts from Marshall’s. So the bourbon world ain’t ready for them.

Wild Turkey is the most red headed of the major corn children. Even still, it is crotchshotted and flipped before it leaves the parking lot. Even WT isn’t sacred. The resale HSV from Buffalo Trace has now infected the drinker tier bottles as well, pass the Carmex.

This has a gorgeous deep bronze like oversteeped tea and the nose presents all that amazing dance that keeps people who don’t drink bourbon away from Wild Turkey: actual bourbon hallmarks. It is dry, toasty, Hot Tamales, French toast, and burned brioche. Taste provides dried mango, Dr. Pepper, anise, Darjeeling tea, and nutmeg. It veers so far away from the betapalate “BUTTERSCOTCH BOMB BRO” that Paste Magazine bourbon drinkers require that I wonder who these are even being flipped to. There cant be as many people as stupid as me paying resale just to open them, can there? DDB is the HSV bourbon sore.

Like moving unfolded laundry daily from bed to floor, this is fulfilling in its delay. The finish is extremely dry, lemon heavy sun tea, Christmas wreath, semianiline couch leather. It’s better than Blue Run 14, which also costs the same, also ruined. It is far superior to Stagg Jr and ECBP contemporaries. The heat is on the swallow and burns like the “SO WHAT ARE WE” text left on read. Bro I swear this distillery is down bad bread crumbing you, leave WT on purple triangle homie.