Somehow, due to my extreme negligence, I have been sleeping on Slice. Sure we know Moonraker, Zack Frasher, LINCOLN and the NorCal HellaHop squad. But I failed to ADDRESS SLICE.
A couple years ago people kept telling me BRO SLICE BEAT PLINY THE YOUNGLING. But I have a hard time taking dudes with orange juice IG accounts seriously, every square looking like Donald Duck concentrate fan fiction. I review hazy ipas only when extremely warranted.
Most hazy IPAs have this inherent aspirational hubris like a guy who wears a Ferrari polo shirt: “someday I will be known as the best.” Brewers candidly mumble to themselves cleaning oat slop out of the mash tun that IF ONLY PEOPLE KNEW we would be as big as Treehouse, NO. BIGGER. Than Monkish. It’s the kids who are out of touch.
Then sometimes a hazy IPA comes along that does do that. Oh sure it’s rare, but like your friend who only owns one outfit, it needs to be called out, Kyle.
Turbo Nectar really rewrites the hazy playbook with Galaxy and Citra hops. Apply ice to that hip since you likely just fell out of your chair. Sure, it has cold pressed satsuma, sumo oranges, some tangelo, and a creamy 50/50 bar middle but, like Anthony Hopkins in the Father, it’s the END that really tears you up.
Slice has mastered the art of maintaining resin, pine, conifer, the realm of evergreen Mendocino county illegal growhouses of yore, and binding that with the orange Julius mall walking pleasantries that trubmouthed masses crave. Bicameral legishazetion. The swallow is similar to those condom colored gummy bears and vibrant, but it has loads of split kindling. The result is fantastic.
Most NEIPAs have this goldilocks issue where it is either orange flintstones vitamins or pure Hugo Boss cologne and nothing to mitigate the two. Slice is like giving medication to a tiny Greek child dripping in Aqua Di Gio. So elegant, but so adorable.
Does this mean you need to fire up Fedex labels to get beer that’s like 22% better than you local options? I mean obviously. What else are you going to put on your one dimensional IG account that rotates 11 adjectives infinitum with the same 32 hashtags in the comments.