LGVLABTOKF: Henson Brewing Company

Henson Brewing feels like one of those PS1 or N64 era games where you walk in and none of the assets have loaded. There are like four NPCs, stark white walls, angular geometry, all of the objects exist as polygons. Located in a, YOU GUESSED IT, leaky industrial area of Burbank near a massive mall and some odd little studios, this hamlet bubbles away. The branding reminds me of those Facebook shirts that are procedurally generated with algorithmic text “SEPTEMBER dads Love BEER so dont mess with my PRILOSEC im a CAPRICORN” with some wheat and hops flashart.

There’s a half built old car, a huge amount of space that is roped off, with a tiny tiny (5bbl?) system. Perhaps anticipating some massive buildout. To be fair, they opened like 6 months ago, but if not for Yelp, I would have no idea this place existed. The brewery has signs noting such activities as Fresh Brewed Small Batch Comedy Night and Beer Yoga (?!) with a pleasant, relaxing atmosphere. The servers are genial and the taplist has a cheat sheet on the back to keep the staff on its toes. That’s not a slam, I wish more places did that.

There’s a big Connect Four game and a toddler running and screaming about something. The most notable thing about this brewery was the plywood table pre-set for a game of beer pong. Not just tolerating but actively encouraging a carnival game of Red Cup dexterity. I really enjoy that. I am not being wry, I would legit go to a brewery just to play beer pong, that sounds amazing and perhaps illegal. The beers themselves are, ehh. The pale could be placed in a six pack lineup and you wouldn’t be able to identify which Two Row Chinook criminal assaulted you. It’s textbook to the point of feeling like a reference chart, light pine, mid 2000s panache of clean swallow and mild honey and arugula. It’s pretty solid and it is their best beer. I only tried three of the six beers on tap.

The saison was dubiously lemon pledge driven, but serviceable. Anomalously this spot is yet ANOTHER place making saison Micheladas [Sundays only.] I have so many questions. The IPA compelled an Irish goodbye. I had just finished a 4 mile hike in 93 degree heat so I wanted badly to drink an IPA and the lacquer and pine solvent in that hateful taster checked every warning box. Henson is a brewery that exists and will sell you items that are identified as beer. That’s essentially all I can drum up to say about this placeholding local grain steeper. It’s a touch below “fine.”

You undoubtedly have three of these breweries local to you no matter where you live:

So where do they rank in the LGVLABTOKF hierarchy?

1. Verdugo West Brewing

2. Dry River Brewing

3. Strand Brewing

4. Boomtown Brewery

5. Scholb Brewing

6. Cosmic Brewing

7. Brewyard Beer Company

8. Henson Brewing

9. Indie Brewing Company

The mission continues, I am told I have a mere 75 more Los Angeles breweries to go.

Great.

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