“Is the carb low?” Yes. See above. Typical kuhnhenn shit. Delicious.
“Is this better than bourbon aftw?” No. It has a lighter body and the heat isn’t there, but it is better than cherry Adam and has a wonderful spice and minty peppery barrel character. Yes I just used “wonderful” nonironically.
“Should I trade apricot stonington for it?” THATS a wildly specific question, but sure, you’ll get turnt as fuqq and call your ex and you’ll prolly cry. Then you’ll delete your OK Cupid account and post vague facebook statuses.
“I can only afford this or bb4d, which should I get?” You are too poor for beer trading, drink two hearted and get your shit together then return to old ales.
“How many NILLAS is this?” If you use the word NILLLA you should get IP banned from everywhere.
“Will this give me the courage to stop taking my Valtrex?” The world is your oyster. Your inflamed, itchy, scabby oyster.
“Should I open this on a blind date?” Yes, if he is already blind.
“Which of the Oasis albums is this most like?” Trick question, Oasis only put out a single terrible album.
“I just drank three of these and now I want to light off fireworks my buddy Chase got from Mexico” please list DDB as a beneficiary in your paltry life insurance policy. I want your Dragon Ball Z dvd set.
I hope this clears up your concerns.