What a bizarre but oddly refreshing beer, way off style for an IPA with massive attenuation, zero coating, washes away clean leaving no oils, the crisp dryness of a Logsdon offering, this resinous hop profile that was more woody than dank, the fruit character coming across like a Chardonnay with a funky phenolic finish. Bonkers but highly drinkable.
Kinda reminded me of when trinity barrel aged their IPAs with Brett like red swingline and that whole realm. Defies classification really.
Perfect for those coveted “entirely foam” saison pours for those highly attenuated ratchets.
How do I load this on my Jitterbug so I can post comments about Shipyard beers?
Pumpkin beer season is only weeks away I need to get on this.
Write up to follow
I am not gonna waste your time with my misguided ass bourbon impressions.
It was really tasty, would bang again as my bourbon side bitch
I think we all realize that buzzfeed is like the 98 cent store of generic internet entertainment, but even this stolen half hearted list is enough to make even basic bitch tickers wince:
Are you ready for the most amazing beer names EVER?
Well I hope you enjoy hop puns because the bar has been set that fucking low for what constitutes the best beer label ever: puns. This might be the grossest misuse of the word “amazing” in the history of the English language since the reboot of the amazing spoderman franchise.
Here are a few of my favorite names that they selected:
“Hibernation” holy shit this is like Voltaire space docking with Moliere levels of cleverness.
“Blind pig” how irreverent oh shit swine with disabilities.
“Bad elf” well finger my dickhole calling it just “elf” would have been amazing enough but tossing that extra adjective in there: solid gold.
“Get down American brown” it is like the apotheosis of divinity in beer marketing, the sublime prose reaching levels only previous reached by a 7th grade math teacher at a pep rally making groan worthy puns for kids without pubes.
And the hands down absolute best beer name “LIL helper” like holy shit what crack team of writers in marketing cooked up this gem?
It wouldn’t be so ridiculous if the shitty buzzfeed list wasn’t basically generated with a randomize function. Name any beer, try to convince yourself it doesn’t belong on this list.
“Honker ale” holy fuck like the goose? GENIUS.
“Nelson” oh fuck like the hop variety? No way, tell me more.
“Smuttynose porter” oh shit the brewery name and then beer style? That’s FUCKING OUT THERE.
The best part is they follow up this uninspired shitty list of beers with an ad for an equally uninspired show that sets beer culture back decades with each episode aired: fucking Brew Dogs.
Solid work for Buzzfeed, notches above their “top 22 signs you are from Boise” list.
LOL BEER IS SO RANDOM!!!!
God with the number of people obsessed with Westbrook Gose you would think someone would pony up the extra cash and go for this exceptional salt free beer.
This is straight crisp Anjou pears, clean white grape, jazz apples, light biscuit profile, a touch of all spice musk, and a refreshing mineral closer. It drinks like an after gym beer, straight pear spritzer.
If you don’t like this beer, you might as well go cultivate opium, because nothing will satisfy you
Pop Brett Saisons, fire up omeggle, cyber hard
Just blast Lisa Loeb and let my external ovaries blast. This is worse than their more accessible pedestrian offerings. There is a sticky estery clove note that is off putting and the tannic presence is so muted it might as well be spec’ed as a silent Paladin.
I love what these guys are up to conceptually, but their binary execution makes this a bigger gamble than the trades can justify. That chewed bubble gum finish, lingering calcium and strange turbinado sugar presence.
I WAS PROMISED BERRIES AND ALL I GOT WAS MY TWIG TWISTED
My face when I expected some blabaer banger
This is such a strange base to take to dizzying new heights. You get an ultra clean attenuated toasty almond and walnut base with medium roast, caramel and werthers original in the taste, amazing macaroon on the nose. It is a bizarre sweet and roasty affair top to bottom that is wildly crushable.
It isn’t needlessly sticky, it isn’t under attenuated, it doesn’t boost mouthfeel with nefarious means: it is just a clean robust beer that is all motor not forced induction.
Use protection when approaching this seemingly sessionable ba banger
If you are a basic bitch raised in the last 18 months on that ISO swag, then you might think this is the Gold re-release. Wrong. DDB is pulling some wild alechaeology with this bad ratchet.
What in fucks sake is a splinter and how do you blue it?
“What is Splinter Blue? Splinter Blue combines three of our favorite things – Dreamweaver, tart cherries, and Brettanyomyces. To begin this process we fermented Dreamweaver wort with Belgian/Lambic yeast blend. After a complete fermentation,… we aged the beer in oak barrels with wild yeast and souring bacteria for one year, and then added eighty pounds of tart cherries for another six months of aging. Splinter Blue pours a cloudy rose color with copious carbonation and a Brettanyomyces yeast funk. The beer’s effervescence highlights it’s sharp acidic cherry flavor, followed by a doughy cereal-like finish that lets you know there’s wheat in there.”
Alright now let’s talk about this 2010 release that most people completely forgot about. Except PA tickers. They will remind you about this beer relentlessly.
The beer pops with a crackly carb that leaves gushing out quickly, grabs a handful of Doritos and then peaces out. It sits there with insubstantial lacing kinda like an amber tepid cider flexing its serrata ready to spar .
The nose is intense acidity like a kriek cut with a framboise, cherry tannins and a robust sour shock tart meets earthy musk. The taste provides an American wild ale experience with low ph by the fist full but also gives a nice faded fruit profile as well, gently drying with currant and red grape and a touch of dry oak along your bitter zones. If you ever made out with a chick in 8th grade and got that braces special in your face hole, you will know the power this beer has. Or if you currently have an 8th grade girlfriend …I am not here to tell you how to live your life.
This oddly reminds me of veritas 013, except with a different fruit aspect to it. It is hard to find a direct analog, but imagine if Upland cherry had more than one dimension… Or let’s say someone like Ale Apothecary made a cherry wild ale, this would be it, and then 4 years on it.
I don’t even adjectives that hard.
All my trade boxes are super fresh 18 hour delivery, thanks to this ultra negligent courier service I use.
dontdrinkbeer 