@hillfarmstead Beyond Good and Evil, intersubjective morality AND SOME FUCKIN MAPLE SYRUP for the ubermensch tickers

Man it feels like FOREVER, since I dropped a hot 16 bars on a Hill Farmstead beer. Will the expansion of the beer game and the constriction of my anoos, landing these beers has put my lower rectum in opposition to what my mouth wants. So what do we have today from the Green Mountain State, aka VERD MONT, aka cetacean land. This is a barrel aged stout from HillFeezy but instead of that traditional ass Damon approach in bourbon/port/DUBBEL, we have MAPLE SYRUP AND THEN TWO FUCKING YEARS IN BOURBON BARRELS. That’s like the same amount of time you spent on that bid for shoplifting that White Chicks DVD.

Life is all about priorities.

THINGS ARE GETTING CLASSY AS FUCK AROUND HERE

THINGS ARE GETTING CLASSY AS FUCK AROUND HERE

Hill Farmstead Brewery
Vermont, United States
Style | ABV
American Double / Imperial Stout | ABV ? WHODAFUCK HAS AN ALCOLYZER

A: This beer looks exactly how you would expect it to look, tar black, scared quid inky tones, that mocha foam and wispy trails hitting the glass up like street art in poor neighborhoods. The retention is legit, holds that head up high, shake the fuck out of an Illy coffee drink and drop it into regular ass Damon and you’d get the same effect. UPDATE: I KNOW THERE IS NO COFFEE IN THIS, THAT WAS A VISUAL DESCRIPTOR THANKS FACT CHECKING DDB READERS.

This is what 99% of untappd stout reviews remind me of

This is what 99% of untappd stout reviews remind me of

S: Holy confectioner orgasm. This is easily the sweetest beer on the nose that Hill Farmstead has made to date and leads with less roast and more sticky August Gloomp chocolate, Hershey’s syrup, Caramello and Twix, and this sticky sweet IHOP presence. You get a touch of burnt toastiness on the back end but this is very much American in execution and smells almost like cocoa nibs or adjuncts were used but that’s all MALTMOTOR no forced induction. This beer is straight boosting.

T: The sweetness gang bang continues and you get hot chocolate ropes in and around your mouth. There is a maple syrup, pecan, and sweet Ms. Butterworth’s levels of complexity here, but thankfully the toasted malt aspects show up on the backend to keep this shit out of the Southern Tier realm of diabetic decadence. The bourbon presence is inextricably bound in this macaroon and maple sort of Cronut treat, but the chocolate and oak rides out the sustain on the finish like shooting them salty barrels, you get so pitted. If you have ever done naked burpees in a See’s Candy, you will know the sweetness and intensity present in this complex treat.

you may think because DDB is on that saison game he cant go alpha beast on stouts: YOU ARE FUCKN WRONG THO

you may think because DDB is on that saison game he cant go alpha beast on stouts: YOU ARE FUCKN WRONG THO

M: The heft of this beer is somewhere in between MC2 and MC3, not crazy, but not as thin as MC1 either. It is somewhere akin to Parabola in mouthfeel albeit lacking any really carbonation or crackle in the mouth itself. It got so ramped up in the glass that by the time it gets in the mouth, the load has been shot and it just kinda lays there acting sweet along the gumline. Again, that maple sweetness seems to coat and linger and seems patently out of character for the crisp attenuated Hill Farmstead execution you may be used to. This is decidedly American in execution and strays away from that European game that Shaun Hill posts up on in the paint. SOMEONE IS GETTING BOXED OUT.

D: This is one of their more drinkable stouts due to the viscosity and mouthfeel, but again part of me wonders what could have been if the maple syrup were omitted. I know that defeats the purpose of the beer and the nuanced execution of something original. Maybe I am just a savory bastard in a sweet world, maybe I got a rough HJ in a Denny’s and cant stand syrup now; who knows. All in all, this is better than say MC1 and regular Damon, but fails to hit that back wall of my stout cervix like MC2 and MC3. This is all relative to the HF lineup, which is unfair to the masses of other shitty generic BA stouts out there, suffice it to say, it is better than 90% of those. I am sure I can rally some dipshit at this point to reference Parabola or regular BCBS or Kentucky Dark Star or whateverthefuck, but let the men talk without your offshelf jibber jabber.

The thing about stouts is- OH FUCK IT'S CAEYMAEX-

The thing about stouts is- OH FUCK IT’S CAEYMAEX-

Narrative: The new school of Stoutology had exhibited inherent logical failings to Pierre Donmiesque. Their sticky emphasis on imagination, self-assertion, danger, originality, and the “creation of values” more often than not resulted in a reliance upon adjunct systems without a clear definition of terms. The average scholar following this new school of Stout discipline emphasized adjectives and ingredients over substance and execution as a whole. Pierre could not embrace this saccharine system of values, predicating the weaker at odds with the stronger, the more nimble stouts pulled down by the inefficient. Pierre held to a new system of malt beliefs portraying even domination, appropriation and injury to the weak stouts as not universally objectionable. Pierre had pushed to a new development in his high stout consciousness, at the expense of collateral stouts. Ultimately each brew philosopher had pandered exclusively to emphasize accessibility as a virtue, at the expense of quality, such were the trappings of the new school. Pierre saw this as a tee ball participation trophy where everyone was awarded BJCP accolades while accomplishing little more than endless emulation of preexisting tropes. Those chili/vanilla/cocoa/coffee archetypes were well worn and supported ad infinitum by a gallery of yeasayers. Pierre pressed his face to the glass and watched a bag of ancho chilis being emptied into a carbon copy stout with a name predicated on either a movie or pedestrian pun. ULtimately, Pierre felt that noble and base are distinguished by more than what they value as “good.” He had ascended beyond the failings of a 2008 BJCP morality presented in a post-ISO:FT world.

Pierre had become a stout critic beyond the scope of good and evil.

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