@thebruery Brandy Barrel Bois, Turk BG Weezy and Juvie aka them Hot Bois

I had to abstain last year from reviewing Fruet because of some rusty ass wd40 haters, so in atonement for same, I might as well get on my shit and review the Brandy Barrel variant of this year. Some would expect me to pipe down the French Oak Hoarder’s variant, but balling out of control implies a modicum of control. Don’t worry, mama knows child. Anyway, this was my personal favorite variant, but the quality of this beer is demonstrated by the fact that no one that I talked to agreed on which variant was best. My pervert ass friend with a small beer dick preferred the Virgin Bois. There’s an entendre somewhere in there, feck it.

You guys I am instagramming now, I practically know photoshop, everything sepia from now on.

You guys I am instagramming now, I practically know photoshop, everything sepia from now on.

The Bruery
California, United States
Old Ale | ABV 15.5%

“Bois is our fifth anniversary ale, loosely brewed in the English-style Old Ale tradition using our house Belgian yeast strain and then blended using the solera method. A portion of each of our anniversary ales is saved in our barrels and blended in with the next year’s production, providing more complexity and depth of character that comes with age. Layered with complex flavors of dark fruit,vanilla, oak, and burnt sugar, Bois is a robust ale, surely the perfect beer to mark this major milestone.”

A: This is a murky muddy affair not unlike Melange 3, or the other anniversary beers for that matter. It has a gentle head that has a beatuiful “coffee in the garbage disposal” turbid gurgle to it that lets you know that shit is about to get real. The lacing tries its best but the clear sheeting wipes the slate clean like an incriminating etch a sketch pretty quickly.

If you complain about ABV, fusel notes, or residual sugars, you might be a raging pussy: CALL 1-800-JIZZPALATE FOR A FREE CONSULTATION

If you complain about ABV, fusel notes, or residual sugars, you might be a raging pussy: CALL 1-800-JIZZPALATE FOR A FREE CONSULTATION

S: This is the sweetest variant but it balances the base beer and compliments the fuck out of it like episode 1 of every season the Bachelor. There is a raisin, sticky sweet alcohol waft, bourbon, vanilla, caravienne, caramel, and feels like an amped up BB4d with a bit more deep fruits and a bit more astringency. It hits your nose holes and runs harder than C-Breezy.

T: The taste presents a toasty char, fig, caramelized dates, there is an after dinner port/sherry aspect to this that is like a quad taking n0x and getting lats blasting like bat wings. The taste is ridiculously barrel forward and leaves a wafty almond/fusel aspect to it that piggy backs behind the sweet notes with a stern authority. You aren’t afraid of detention, but when the brandy barrel kicks in you know you are about to be suspended as fuck and your liver is gonna be stopsign red.

opened this up alone and my face be like

opened this up alone and my face be like

M: This is not as hot as the waft would lead you to believe, there is a sweet dryness to it that just improves as it warms. If you are being a complete pussy and drink 1.5oz of this at some shitty “OMG ALL THE ANNY BEIRS TASETING!!!” at least let it warm up before you drop a hot 3.75 on it like a dickhead. It has a sticky residual aspect that all but guarantees a DUI in your khaki gumline and ICP cd bumping from your Pontiac Sunfire.

D: In all honesty, this is not some massive session beer that you can rock hard and put away wet. This beer will dominate your palate, push other beers to the backseat and make you file a cell transfer request to the tastebud warden. If you can put away a bottle of this, you can join the DDB club of underlying alcoholism, your secret is safe with me. In summary, this is extreme, yet refined, boozy, yet addicting. I killed the entire bottle but other vagina mouths will likely complain about things they don’t know about. If you are one of those “modified pullup” drinkers that cant handle BCBS fresh, put this away for 9 months and leave the rest of us out of your unmerited complaints. Bottom line: this is an exceptional beer well in line with BB4D, better than Coton and Papier, but not as delicious at 100% BA Cuir. If you have context for what I am saying, then both of you, let’s get a beer.

Some people just know how to be gettin it.  Don't hate.

Some people just know how to be gettin it. Don’t hate.

Narrative: There was a mystical energy in Warren Gibson. He was poised and refined while maintaining a quiet power in his stature. Variety once called him “MR SUMMER BLOCKBUSTER” and he looked upon his various awards while glancing out upon the Wilshire traffic. “You destroyed Catwoman, you will never work again!” he recalled and took a sip of 18 year brandy. The royalty checks kept rolling in and he read some hateful Battlefield Earth mail and ran his fingers across the cold mahogany of his opulent desk. IF anyone else had been a silent producer on Hudson Hawk, Speed Racer, and Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within, they might second guess themselves. This man was a powerhouse with an active playbook of amazing productions that none could touch. However, his silent endeavors were a bit too heavyhanded for those who did not understand them. The pure heat of his production values intimidated many and pushed them to the RomCom genre. “You cannot argue with success” was the motto on his vanity plate and he smiled while concurrently signing the greenlight on a film that would win Cannes and the approval for Pluto Nash 2: Pluto’s Dissent.

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2 thoughts on “@thebruery Brandy Barrel Bois, Turk BG Weezy and Juvie aka them Hot Bois

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