What else is there to say about this beer? It is one of the best porters in the entire world, it packs a huge flavorful punch with a paltry 150 calories, has an incredible balance and just might be the textbook example of an American Porter. Let’s stop gripping the wood and investigates the guts of this shipwreck.
Great Lakes Brewing Company
Ohio, United States
American Porter | 5.80% ABV
A: The appearance pours a nice thin wispy cola color with light mahogany and slippery watery disposition like that used car salesman always trying to put you in a Mazda 3. The lacing is rife with fine microbubbles, bubbles on her its skin make a white stripe like a zebra. The lacing is substantial and looks like a lacy dress that Taylor Swift was wearing before she got his by a depleted uranium round. Goodnight sweet princess.
S: The smell is sweet like turbinado sugar with light baker’s chocolate and a hint of Nestle chips. There is a light char on the backend that is notable but not intimidating, like a baby blue Pit Bull. Adorable amounts of roast.
T: The taste is incredibly light and refreshing with initial sweetness that follows with a slick chocolate aspect like you tried to make Quik with water, you poor asshole. There’s a nice light tobacco and roastiness on the backend that rounds out the watery straight up porter aspect to it. This is like a sessionable imperial stout if you want some sort of paradox with your beer reviews, it has all the big charm of a powered up track home, with with the panache of a studio apartment. Swag curb appeal.
M: This might be my favorite aspect this beer. It is incredibly light and dances swiftly from flavor zone to zone imparting a nice sweet and hint of smoke aspect. If you went to Wikipedia for something other than jungle porn, you would find this as an unverified textbook definition of a porter, citation unneeded.
D: This is exceptionally drinkable and the price and 6 packs are all the explanation I need for the obesity epidemic in the midwest. If I were a fireman, or like, an insurance salesman, I would drink this before work instead of coffee. It is that good and refreshing. Or maybe you just live in a rural part of Ohio and your Saturday night fun has a price tag of $9.99, throwing rocks at trains and shit. Get on that grizzy.
Narrative: Michael Chambers was a legacy weatherman as KFEC 6 and everyone in the newsroom knew it. He would swagger in just minuted before the cameras were live, pressing Hershey kisses into the palms of his co-workers. He spun a tight circle and flashed a smile at the producer and sauntered over to the weather green screen in a light brown suit, looking as smooth as the summer day is long. “OK, Mike, hey, let’s get this shot down-” he was popping and locking in a charming manner while ushering the computer generated clouds across Lake Michigan. He might be a bit sweet, even at some times borderline cloying, but God damn it if that Mike Chambers wasn’t a refreshing guy to be around, at all times.