This USED to be a top 100 beer, first world problems.

Schnieder Aventinus, Weizenbock/Doppelbock, 8.2% abv

A: It has a deep brown amber almost brown ale color with a certain muddiness to it. The bottle conditioning yields tiny bubbles with almost no lacing. It’s pretty legit for how widely available it is, not unlike Snow’s first album.

S: Sweet figs, brown sugars, roasted oats, and some dark fruits similar to a Belgian tripel. It reminds me of how Miller Boyett productions would always link their shows together like how Harriett worked with Larry and Balki and then Steve crash landed in Wisconsin at the Lambert’s backyard. It is an example of canonical cohesion is what I am trying to say.

This beer is good and delivers in a simple refreshing way. You know what I am saying.

T: There is an almost tart sweetness at the forefront. The bubbles are tingly and almost sour with the dark fruits coming through like a deep burnt wheat finish. It is strange how many genres this covers without being a strange cuvee of some sort. The dark fruits are still present but its is almost more blackberry or a sweet pecan syrup taste to it. IHOP ALL UP IN THIS BITCH.

M: The mouthfeel has some good coating but with a strange tingliness to it. This is not a light wheat beer finish but it is not heavy similar to a dunkelweisen or a thin porter, it has a strange distinct nature to it. It is likely perfect for the style, but essentially I am not a huge fan of this style I suppose or perhaps I am just uneducated with regards to the variety of examples of this type of beer. That being said, this is still a delicious beer but I would have a hard time pairing this effectively given its strange hybrid of sweetness and tartness. You want to invite her to one of your friends, but she’s all into slam poetry and weird shit so you have to abstain.

This beer delivers. I ain't even mad though.

D: This is exceptionally drinkable but seems more suited for fall weather than long sessions in any form of hot weather. The sugars aren’t overly filling like a Belgian tripel but the strange crispness doesn’t make it bothersome. I couldn’t take on more than a pint of this but it was an enjoyable fleeting experience.

Narrative: Gretchen Dulceberg’s candy business was in dire straights. For starters, opening a confectionary boutique in rural Utah was bound to cause some problems with the Mormon populace. Second, the recession hit the gourmet fusion sweets market especially hard. The average blonde haired blue eyes Utahite would saunter in with a sweet tooth for a simple Snickers or a Chic-O-Stick and be welcomed with Truffled Cocoa with dried ahi tuna or muddled marshmellow foam imbued with beef stock marrow. The price of Gretchen’s goods would leave a sour taste in the mouth of the most proper Latter Day Saint. Ultimately, Ms. Dulceberg’s sweet tooth was too obtuse for the average Mormon, but in Dresden, this place would have been a dunklesmash.