Not since Ma$e have so many been Peeped upon so hard.
Maine Beer Company, Peeper, American Pale Ale, 5.5% ABV
A: There is a deep gold hue to this beer with tons of foamy white carbonation. There’s some lacing but it is a pretty standard affair, you pretty much know what you’re getting when you buy a Pennywise album. Ironically, this isn’t a beer that I would be peeping on all hard. It is an average outing
S: This beer smells of sweet pine, orange zest, mild pie crust and some light honey. I am accustomed to being olfactory raped by IPAs and DIPAs so this is more of a pleasant walk in the park with an old sweetheart. A sweetheart who gently rubs sweet honey and grapefruit all over your nostr- man, this Pale Ale talk is getting all salacious all of a sudden.
T: This is a pale ale but the maltiness and grapefruit notes make me believe in my heart of hearts that this started as an IPA, but hey, who am I to point hop cones? There’s a really nice breadiness and sweet juicy hop profile that makes this a very relaxing beer to drink. The taste is honestly not that complex but Paper Mario wasn’t a complex game and I enjoyed that so, hey, there’s an inapposite analogy to stick in your cap.
M: This is extremely light and as soon as the flavor is imparted, it scurries off like a Quaker prom date, with no additional fulfillment in store. That isn’t to say that this is somehow deficient, it is just overly EFFicient. Maybe linger around for a bit Pale Ale, watch Just Friends starring Ryan Reynolds at my place? No romancing for this Pale Ale.
D: This is easily this beer’s selling point. It is incredibly refreshing and just extends an entreating hand to pull you along lovingly gulp after gulp. I would almost, this is a strong almost, prefer this to Blind Pig, if only because it is more session able, albeit less memorable.
Narrative: “And therefore, the ignoble pursuits set forth within the ambit of ideals encapsulated in Kratos’s actions in God of War, is therefore, anything but godlike. Thank you.” Walter Currington concluded his opening statement at the Video Game Ethics convention. Not a single eye was left dry after his classic appeals to G.E. Moore with regards to Earthbound and the delicately woven parallels between Banjo Kazooey and Sartre seemed entirely organic. Rick shifted in his chair, “RICK! It’s….your turn….” the grand ballroom of the Radisson seemed entirely empty as casual gamer Rick strode to the podium and placed his Bubbilicious on the handrail on his way up. “I don’t need a lot, I don’t ask for a ton from my games and well, my life.” The crowd hushed intently and paused for his famous Epicurean defense of casual gaming. “Truth is, I was going to come up here and defend who I was, and talk about the simplicity of Peggle and Farmville but…” he scanned the room with his piercing blue eyes, “the truth is, you don’t need an ethical system to tell you what’s good, just go with it.” The crowd waited a beat and burst into applause. “HE HAS JUST REVOLUTIONIZED INTERSUBJECTIVE ETHICS FOR CASUAL VIDEO GAMES,” one excited attendee commented as Rick coolly passed by. Rick had been coming to these things for the free food and gave a couple simple speeches about “Kinect or Wii or whatever, and people just get all into it, and that’s fine, I just want to be a fun guy to have around, not be all serious.” After revolutionizing ethical systems, Rick piled into his Chevy Aveo and put a Smashmouth CD on.