@sudwerkbrew Funke Hop Farm, DRY HOPPED, barrel aged, lacto, BRETT SAISON HNNNGGGG

Alright so I got to the bottom of things.  Before I reviewed anything from Sudwerk I was warned top to bottom from people who had been going to the pub itself for a long time.  The PUB not to be confused with the BOTTLED OFFERINGS, offers an inoffensive standard fare of bar food and the typical lineup you might expect from a local brewpub.  However, underneath the calm veneer of this establishment runs an undercurrent of talent and malignant ability.  These igneous plumes have only began to surface lately and spill their precious magma all over consumers, coating them in sheets of precious barrel aged obsidian.  So these are unlike anything you may have seen on BEERADVOCATE and their wealth of information, and represent the current direction of the brewery at large, so get some hot loads of aggie magma all over those man tits in today’s review.

A ganache barrel aged, dry hopped, brett saison.  Inner thighs pounding so hard about to grow some farmhouse ovaries.

A grenache barrel aged, dry hopped, brett saison. Inner thighs pounding so hard about to grow some farmhouse ovaries.

BA Saison, 6% abv

PLEASE NOTE THIS IS BATCH 2, BATCH ONE COULD GARBLE RABBIT BALLS AND I WOULD HAVE NO IDEA.

Here’s the commercial tug job:

“Brewed with oats and wheat, and fermented out with two strains of saison yeast. It spends about six to nine months in an assortment of barrels-Petite Sirah, Grenache, Chardonnay-while being fermented with Brettanomyces, Lactobacillus, and a house yeast culture from their in-house solera system. It’s then blended with an all-Brett beer that’s barrel-aged separately, bringing in more tropical and guava notes. Oh, and it’s dry-hopped at 1.5 pounds per barrel with Simcoe, Nelson, and Citra.”

A:  Before I even poured this, I was like “this will be dead flat and then I can rip on this shit for being clearly a wild ale, I know how to read words, this will be nothing like a saiso-” and then billowy clouds of frothy carb sat there defiantly, forming upturned middle fingers in the foam, insulting my family line.  It looks murky and unfiltered, if this had a touch of the wheat tarbrush I wouldn’t be surprised.  I can’t parade out my typical NOT TO STYLE bullshit on this one, and that’s sad, those complaints eat up so many words, bringing me to ropey verbal completion so much faster.

you put a saison in an obscure wine barrel, and your name isn't Mystic, then my trap card gets activated so hard.

you put a saison in an obscure wine barrel, and your name isn’t Mystic, then my trap card gets activated so hard.

S:  This is unquestionably the best part of the beer and god damn, is it something to behold.  The triumvirate of the ultra juicy hops, the complete absence of any aserose aspects, the tart yogurt sharpness from the lacto, and dry closer from the brett make this huffable for days.  It is waves of tangerine, sliced clementines, those little Cuties that are wildly overpriced, fresh sliced honeydew and cantaloupe, it just smells radiant like some Ganiere Fructis shampoo.  SORRY IF YOU ARENT UP ON GAME AND STILL USE SUAVE ITS 2015 GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER.

ganache barrels are usually some divorcee tier component grapes that plastic dragonwomen talk about like "ITS LIKE PINOT AND THAT HOT NEW VINO CALLED MALBEC OMG SO TELL ME ABOUT HOW STAN IS MISTREATING YOU" shit like that

Grenache barrels are usually some divorcee tier component grapes that plastic dragonwomen talk about like “ITS LIKE PINOT NOIR AND THAT HOT NEW VINO CALLED MALBEC OMG SO TELL ME ABOUT HOW STAN IS MISTREATING YOU” shit like that

T:  This follows the foregoing smell but delivers a bit more of dryness and less of the fruit explosion.  It is very dry and crisp like an anjou pear with a manner of arugula grassiness to the closer.  If you enjoyed Dorothy and Alpha King, this will be well ensconced in your house of wheels.  It is refreshing and reminds me of Printemps with more wild ale inclinations.  While this doesn’t step full on into the Side Project sour saison realm, it is rubbing the tip dangerously close to the folds.  It is unquestionably sour but never stops your from drilling the entire bottle and palate fatigue never sets in.  That reminds me, I need to tick Lattice.  GOD DAMNIT THERE IS NOT REST IN THIS SAISON GAME.

M:  This is a touch thinner and drier than I would like, but other may find this to be a more exceptional aspect.  It finishes long and drops bits of tart lemongrass and grapefruit rind that, while awesome, seems to pull it away from that initial nose and the saison roots that made me draw the shades earlier.  Not every Tinder date with a 750ml is gonna hit the sheets ok, some take time, you gotta have that m’lady game, fedora tipping to the wild ale side with GENTLEMANLY RESPECT.

most these 2014 tickers think this BA saison shit is all about soaps and suds, ticker what

most these 2014 tickers think this BA saison shit is all about soaps and suds, ticker what

D:  This is unquestionably crushable.  I drank this while watching the limitlessly sad BITUTIFUL and drilled it while basking in Javier Bardem’s majesty.  You will accidentally the entire bottle, it will happen.  Don’t bother sharing this with anyone, let alone multiple people.  All that will do is generate 8 simultaneous UNTAPPD check ins that say shit like “tastes like farmhouses, is ok I guess, my 2oz pour was fine, not a good siason like Beautification, which was winner of the night.”

Just spare me that shit.

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