@gooseisland Brettanomite, Chicago Cultures Bringing those Brettangomeechies Heaters

Back in November when Cahutlow dropped people went apeshit. Somehow in the scramble this solid gem got overlooked. This seems anomalous given what we know about Illinois and their previous trading propensities, a brewery only release with a sub-400 bottle count? This should have been the second coming of VSB, wild ale rapture for stretchmarked Cubs fans mashing out on overloaded hot dogs. Alas, the Humean proposition holds true that we cannot predict the future except by inference, and this one was relatively quiet: UNTIL NOW.

But on the real, this is a solid sour beer and I am gonna go irie on today’s review

Damnnn 750ml and waxed, shit is this had an ornate carboard box you know shit would have been way too real

Damnnn 750ml and waxed, shit is this had an ornate carboard box you know shit would have been way too real

Goose Island Beer Co.
Illinois, United States

Style | ABV
American Wild Ale | 6.30% ABV

One-off steeze. 350 bottles.

GI BE LIKE: we’re releasing Brettanomite, our final beer of the 25th Anniversary Series. The brewers hand-bottled a sour wheat that was aged 13 months in oak barrels with Brettanomyces, Lambicus, Bruxellensis and Lactobacillus (6.3%) It’s golden in color, has wild aromas of ripened stone fruit, a spicy tart flavor and a cleanly balanced finish.

A: This is a touch darker than I was expecting given the “wheat beer” base, maybe I was thinking I was in for some 312 Urban Wheat Beer (now in cans) but this presents a much darker countenance, more in line with them Sour in the Rye offerings, but still inviting nonetheless. The carbonation is substantial and drops foam left and right with cascading rings of lacing fighting against the noteworthy acidity ripping down them malty residuals like tannic sandcastles. Bubbling like girls when they see they have 4 episodes of SCANDAL on the DVR.

You met her on Plentyoffish but wait until she finds out how much you spent on this dumbshit tick. u dead homie.

You met her on Plentyoffish but wait until she finds out how much you spent on this dumbshit tick. u dead homie.

S: This presents an awesome apricot bouquet at the outset with mild oakiness, nectarine acidity, dented peaches, pluots left to ripen and fall of the vine, and the slightest hint of musky complexity. For all the brett in the name and brett this and brett that, it seems more like a Lactomite or a Pediomite, but only completely worthless brewers use Pedio puns in their labels, so I understand the move. This is an inviting beer that has a slightly less acetic nose akin to Sour in the Rye Kumquat. This will be a running theme so dig in, this beer is essentially a SitR deviant, albeit 10% better executed. The edges rounded off and a coat of lacquer applied for that showroom glean. Then again if GI sent this nationwide, to Whole Foods, to Bevmos and Total Wines, we could anticipate that loving $30+ price tag that we enjoyed with Halia. So there’s also that.

T: This is a touch more acidic than the nose would suggest but it still remains in balance, not exactly in a Belgian tradition, but somewhere less aggressive than the testicle twisting pH of say Upland offerings, more dimensions than the Cascade lineup, but falls short of some of the wild farmhouse offerings that the top tier American Saison purveyors are offering. The taste is almost more in line with “saisons” in the Prairie and Side Project realm with that amped up acidity and pineapple, light oaky/grassiness in the finish and the fruit tannins overseer making sure those malty fields are tilled with care. For posterity, take Sour in the Rye and dial back the acidity and the spicy rye character, you get this beer. Which is to say it’s a tasty treat.

Dont hoard these low bottle count ticks, fuck school, pop these burners.  These bitches love Sosa.

Dont hoard these low bottle count ticks, fuck school, pop these burners. These bitches love Sosa.

M: This isn’t the sandiest vagina at the beach, but it isn’t exactly some juicy treat either. It presents a lingering dryness but Zambonies things to an even plane with a juicy profile up front. The coating is minimal and leaves some sort of bitterness and acidity on the swallow but you can still swing a big dick at a tasting with this, stunt on tickers opening BRASH BROS offerings.

D: This is highly drinkable but not into the “CROOSH” range if we are using terms of art. The GERD factors arent in play as the acidity is blaanced out, you don’t get rumble guts and this remains pretty consistent throughtout all temp ranges. You don’t get cankersores and it isn’t overly drying, but it isn’t the most memorable beer either. You could buy a Juliet instead and, while different, you are on a similar level of stunting. Giving up mad bottles for this is like an injured Chris Paul it aint got no point. Some people think the Panamera stunts on the 911 hard, but ultimately you don’t need to drop Persian stacks to run those sub-5 times, it just boils down to panache. If you want to bosst your petty ego with a shitty website, post grainy pics, talk shit on fictional interlocutors behind a computer screen, bolster your inferiority complex predicated on beverages, then sure this is for you. So if you aren’t DDB, you can still hang out the window and get your Suge Knight on without this bottle.

my face when tickers be like "you rate Geese Islands beers unfarely!"

my face when tickers be like “you rate Geese Islands beers unfarely!”

Narrative: The F-18 screeched along the cloud cover awaiting final orders. This escort mission had gone horribly wrong and now he was stuck in this Blue Angels mission from hell. “Commander, primary guns are shot, nothing left on frontline support, only offensive materials available are AIM-Sidewinder missiles.” The commander sighed and turned off the intercom, “ALL HE HAS IS HEAVY FIREPOWER! We are talking 4 big shots to make an impression, this is a suicide mission!” “Sir, you left the intercom on, and I know what I am going into, I know what to do, GODSPEED!” The intercom went into a thicket of static and the sound of hissing bombs cutting through the atmosphere cut through the airwaves. “That crazy son of a gun just did something I have seen very few men capable of, a one-sided honorable assault. Godspeed.” The smoldering robusto appeared not unlike the failing jet engine, cutting through the mist. That acidic bastard just went out in a rare showing, a balance blaze of glory most would never see again. The demonstration was hardly necessary, but the sheer showmanship made it all worthwhile. Commander Jennings took a deep pull from a pineapple juicebox and watched the LED green dot disappear from the MCOM scanner.

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