Well today I am doubling down on the saisons and taking two Mystical products to the dome to determine which mystic generates the most pleasure units. Shit is getting pretty Jeremy Bentham up in here real quick. I took their regular Mystic Saison as a control group and then took the Mystic Saison Asterix as the crazy ass variable. WILL PUTTING A SAISON IN A BOURBON BARREL HAVE FAVORABLE RESULTS? Today we take the Pepsi challenge to find out if regular or extra bourbon fried is the best variety of farmhouse.
Massachusetts, United States
Saison / Farmhouse Ale | 7.00% ABV
Massachusetts, United States
Saison / Farmhouse Ale | 7.80% ABV
This is about as dark as a saison can get in my book before I start calling Shaun Hill and asking if any stray bottles of CD4 escaped. This is damn near light brown and the golden hues that I look for in normal saisons are overtly absent like Korean high schoolers during the math olympics. The carbonation goes to the almost excessive level where I can go beat someone’s ass in Marvel vs. Capcom and return before I can actually drink it.
This looks much closer to what I am looking for in terms of that radioactive radiance that those baller ass saisons exhibit. I cannot understand how being left in a BOURBON barrel made the visual tones lighter, but I don’t have Beakman’s Laboratory to test this out. The carbonation is ratcheted back and Francis Bacon nods approvingly at this experiment.
I get some tartness from this like pear and jazz apples, there’s a sweetness on the backend that comes across like honey or maybe a kind of stevia kinda of thing going on, but it seems to work given the fact the malt is absolutely nowhere to be found. All in all, pretty legit, but this confused maltsexual needs to make a decision whether it wants to be a burly wheaty guy or a supplicant tart beer.
BOURBON TASTY CRISPY
This is like peeling out in a TransAm on wet Massachusetts roads, the olfactory is all over the place with no regard for safety or control. you get that same pear and lemon aspect from the normal but oh wait, here comes waist size 46 BOURBON SMASHING THE SHIT OUT OF EVERYTHING. It seriously takes anything delicate that was going on above and just turns things into this weird hybrid, like in a threesome when people start crossing defined boundaries. I don’t want my vanilla beans touched while I am working on this honeysuckle.
This comes across as a pretty straightforward affair, albeit, all of those fruits and edible arrangements that I was promised at the outset turned into mushy wet biscuits, Grands rolls, honey, a bit of lemon ring, cracked black pepper, and a light musk like 8th graders in PE. I mean, my memory of 8th grade, I dont, I dont go to Junior Highs and- wait what
This is one of the worst saisons that I tried during this Saison marathon/month. I am not faulting this for being off style, because it is so off style it is like wearing plaid pants that don’t even go with themselves. I enjoyed the taste of the regular beer, but this bourbon interplay just ruins things for everyone. It is like that bully that takes the saison ball and tosses it onto the neighbor’s roof. It is the Biff of the saison world. Saisons usually exhibit a gentle flowery wheat profile, this is a burly saison that is tatted and converted the Islam after its long hard vanilla/caramel experience in the barrel. I end up fearing it more than loving it, just like all my other healthy relationships.
Winrar: Regular, the bourbon only hits me because it loves me so much.
This is drying but the residual sugars provide a base for this beer to try a few fakie stalls balancing between both sticky and drying at the same time. I don’t think that it executes either particularly well. If Hill Farmstead E. is the driest saison this side of Soy and Clos Preal is the stickiest juicer that we know, this tries to roll with both crews and gets jumped in by rival gangs.
This makes no mistakes about what is going on here, the bourbon is gonna dry your sweet zones out with booziness while the funk will keep hitting deep on the bitter zones. While is seems masochistic, I like being worked over by these two at the same damn time and the result actually reminds me of something like a weird Wheatwine like Syx or White Chocolate. If you are honestly down for a hybrid like that, you might dig this, this was my favorite part of this beer. It is like getting dome with your own retainer in, you are all like, “why do I still have my retainer in?”
WinRar: Bourbon Baby Back.
The carbonation is just outright annoying and would make even Hiver blush at the mousse levels that are presented. Even the head brewer of Upland Lambics would be like “hey guize, let’s calm down on the carb.” The result is you are constantly losing parts of the experience to massive burps, gassiness, and it takes up precious space in my saison hole (mouth, this time.) Ultimately, I did not want a ton of this simply because I was like those dudes on the Mucinex commerical, getting blown up like Ultros on FF3. If you get that reference, we are instafriends.
This is a tough one for me because I did not want to drink a lot of this due to the weird hybrid thing going on, but I feel like if the abv was higher and it was not marketed as a “refreshing” style, it would do well in the realm of a BA Tripel. If offered both, I think I would choose the regular version because the vanilla/oak/coconut aspects mixed with wheat and apple just are hard to reconcile, like Bieber and Selena, everyone is just ashamed you know about it.
I would say if all things are considered, save the effort and seek out the Regular Mystic Saison, unless you like rubbing topical creams on your perineum, then go for the bourbon, the heat and tingling is exciting and new.