I can imagine everyone is all hung over from Halloween skankiness, so here’s an acrimonious acerbic review for you candy mongers.

Oud Beersel Geuze, 6% abv

A: pours with yellowish to copper color, mild clarity, two finger head with hardly any lacing. head is thin and white. Just look above lazy ass, I Ansel Adams’ed it all up for you. However, this feels a bit too classy, or like I am not quite ode enough to drink it.

Just seeing this makes me feel ode.

S: very tart and fruity smell, tannin almost white wine effects. Crisp granny smith apple, pears, and wet hay funk. Grand Hay Funk Railroad.

T: bittering effect with a very lambic white grape, some cidery apple notes on the finish, essentially a one two punch of sour then crisp apple
finish. Nice dryness that delivers on several tart levels.

It is almost as sweet as the classy people who make things like this, but more intoxicating.

M: it feels more carbonated, then the fast dissipation burns out, mouthfeel is light and almost of a highbrow spritzer countenance. you could serve this to a sorority girl in lieu of a champagne and feel your heart strain at the lost palate. Like a sassy gay friend, it does double duty for differing tastes.

D: this ultimately depends on if you like these beers, fun to show people for the “Wow this is beer factor,” for me, doesnt have much of a place beyond maybe Valentines Day or a holiday get together. not feminine enough to serve as a pink label product but not sophisticated enough to take the place of heavy hitters like Supplication and Temptation. I can still down it regularly though, and it has a nice price point and availability so. nom nom nom.

nomnom geuze...wait. you ode.

Narrative: What’s that you say?” as you cooly present this pale green bottle of Geuze. You gingerly pop the cork and lithely give it a spin on your rich mahogany table and this school nurse is fascinated by this tiny bottle of champagne you have produced. “No no, this isnt martinellis, this is a BEER” her offputting discountenance is almost lost until you redouble with “AN EXPENSIVE BEER” and your audience has been won. Instinctively you will utter the words SOUR, BELGIUM, and GUEZE, and you will notice the faint sight of her loss of interest, producing a grape smell.

“PLEASE, it just, I…I love beer and…I think I love you too” her ears perk up at the potential for some serious discussion. “I love the bubbly effervesence, the sweetness, the refreshing feeling I get” “YES?!” she anticipates “oh no, from this…this beer. you didnt? oh jeez, this is awkward. take another sip, maybe you just dont get it”

“I GET IT, you LOVE YOUR GEUZE, why dont you SUCK THIS GEUZE if you LOVE IT SO MUCH”

you will proceed to suck down all of your Geuze friends. and like it.