Russian Imperialist at its Finest

A:  It has a welcoming midnight pitch to it, inky, but that sort of oiliness like a junior 
year night where there is a promise of either disaster or complete fulfillment. YOU KNOW.  
Also, some khaki spider webbing and no middle carbonation to speak of.

S:  The coffee and burnt notes from the 2011 is absent in the 2009, this one is more chocolate
 with an incredibly integrated bourbon.  It feels like the way alcoholism is perfectly integrated
 into an undergrad experience but you enjoy every moment of the fulfilling moments. 
 The nose is like a cuvee of Black Tuesday and Chocolate Rain, and I cannot overstate how well 
this beer ages.  Take your $5.99 per bottle, buy a case, and leave it alone.  Seriously.

T:  The chocolate is just fantastic, it comes through like a highbrow ferrero roche with the 
almond and smoked notes lingering just long enough like a Carnival Cruise host, but enough time 
alone to get wasted in private.  The finish has a great coffee stickiness to it.  This just gets 
better and better the warmer that it gets. 
If I had a time machine I wou- “BUT WHAT ABOUT ALL THE OTHER THINGS YOU COULD DO” no, 
interloper, this would be first order of business.  Second order of business would be to beat
 all the endings of Chrono Trigger upon initial release.

M:  It isn’t overly oppressive, it coats nicely and leaves a silkiness similar to breakfast stouts
 but without the oats residue.  It is worth the hype and it is frustrating how cheap and accessible 
this stout is.  Why even drink other things?  This is essentially the Sculpin of imperial stouts and
 it deserves every accolade.

D:  Despite the heavy style and abv, I love this stout.  You could turn nay sayers into believers if 
only for a moment.  It simply is more chocolate and candy than stout.  I usually like to fight for
 an underdog but, it is clear that this beer needs no support, it is the reigning champion for a reason. 
 Go forth and witness the masses with this beer.

Narrative:  “Well Jim, they say his fencing style is completely unorthodox” “I agree, we have heard of 
epee’s but using a full on broadsword just seems a bit excessive for the sport!”  The crowd watched on
 as Svardson deftly bounced on the balls of his feet and parried the advances of his opponents with flair
 and skilled bravado.  “Oh my, I have never seen a blade shattered, much less followed by a half gainer, 
this is hardly within the skill manual”  Svardson wore a pitch black fencing uniform and continued to defy
 tradition.  The match was his, he spiked his massive blade into the foam tournament floor and clapped his
 hands together, showering the masses with cocoa nibs.  It was truly a majestic demonstration of the sweet 
and swift blade.