This beer was a behind the lines sniper that I saw everyone requesting and I tuned it out until OH SHIT TOP 100 STATUS. Then I realized that it was only 500 bottles and a total bitch to acquire. But I did, so here we are. Just another day in the life of a gosh darn boss.

Flossmoor Station, BA HIFI (as the kids call it) 11% abv, Barleywine

Before we get underway, I just want to say, I built a bookcase while drinking this by myself (foreveralone.jpg) and the construction got worse as the night went along, but got more awesome as well.

A: This has a deep dull copper color to it that seems appropriate for the style but at the same time feels a bit too capricious and wispy. I dont get that danger like when I pour Arctic Devil and know shit is about to go off. I know there’s shit, its going off potential remains in dispute. The lacing is as lackluster as that fucking annoying Foster the People album that people with no music taste insist on telling you about on Spotify. Except this is actually well done.

S: There’s some of the obligatory notes with the old toffee, marshmellow, burnt brown sugar, light caramel, and some weird sweetness that subsides into…wait for it…when it warms it turns into this delicious chamomille tea aspect. It might be the cardamon. Allegedly there’s some rye aspect and some ginger family up in this mix but I just get a general smooth sweetness. It reminds me of bigger, burlier barleywines, but with a gentle veneer to it. Like that old Lane Bryan model with a heart of gold.

T: The taste is incredibly well done, the sweetness is balanced out by a mild herbal aspect from the rye and you are left sipping on it, hammering away at your carpentry. This is far far better once it warms up. Don’t even bother trying to chill it down like a Russian Imperial Stout, go straight to 3rd base with this bitch. The barleywine not a pejorative statement launched at those of the YY chromosomal order.

M: This doesn’t go over the top with mouthfeel, the coating is generous but doesn’t go so far with it that it becomes sticky sticky, which is appreciated in this market where everyone just wanted to get sticky sticky on your nono. There’s a crispness from the rye that imparts a mild dryness that makes you want to drink more, but therein lies the paradox, if you drink more, you want more and then you aint got no mo. Quite the business model Flossmoor. Hats off.

D: This is incredibly drinkable and this is where it stands head and shoulders above the tank, damage absorbing bretheren. This is more of a cross over from epic DIPAs and hardcore BA barleywines and the result is this hybrid monster that cannot be destroyed. It’s like when people make the super wise financial decision of dropping a $12,000 engine into their janky ass integra, except, this cost less than 1% to that effect.

Narrative: We shall see.